What is brown and salty? A pretzel.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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Two peanuts were crossing a road. One was salted.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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id give my right arm to be ambidextrous

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Q: How do you get a blonde out of a tree? A: Throw a moneky at her

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he is quite wealthy.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Q: Why didin't fat billy take the last peace of pie? A: cuz he was not hungry

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How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

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What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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BOB: Hey look its spiderman Spiderman: IT'S MANSPIDER!!! Punch! Kick! Ouch!

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What was the blind man doing on the bridge? Getting struck by lightning.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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A man went skydiving and tragically died.

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It lost it's grip on the branch and was unable to break it's fall before reaching the ground.

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What is black and white and red all over? Zebra domestic violence isn't funny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops