dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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A: my name is Joe and i like onion B: ok

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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What is both bold and brash? Fox

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What's funny about a black person, a Jew, and a mexican's graves being side by side? Nothing.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Eight, because there's one tickle per tentacle!

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, because if it's black and white, it can't be red.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What's brown and sticky? A black man covered in syrup.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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