- Anti Joke

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

Why did the chicken croos the road? It didnt, my father caught him and cooked him for dinner.

A Mexican guy, a black guy, and an ISIS member walk into a bar. The black and Mexican men, realizing the potential danger in the situation quickly exit the bar and alert the proper authorities. $

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

Why couldn't John go to the store for his mother? He had no legs...

Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

whats worse then getting a parking ticket? the plague

What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice t*ts

Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? I'm a talking banana; what more do you want from me?

Roses are red Violets are blue, Eat my anus with a spoon.

Whats worse than tripping? Getting shot