What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

Why did the Jew cross the road? Cause the Nazi told him to

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

He is outside, running for it, Erron, seriously who is We? I thought you where an author.

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

Knock knock... Home invasion

A: What do you call a female bombing the white house? Q: A terrorist

Q:What business did the black man break into? A: The business of show, because he was a talented actor.

Q: Whats red and bad for your teeth? A: a brick

Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

What did George Bush say when 9/11 happened? "Silly pilots! The airport isn't in a building!"

why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to prom. First he goes to get a tux but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he hast to get some flowers so he goes to a florist and there is a huge flower line there. It takes forever but he gets the flowers. Next he heads to get a limo, unfortunately there is a long limo line at the rental office and it takes a long time but he gets the job done. Finally the day of the prom comes and the two are dancing happily and are having a good time. When the song is over she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there is no punchline.

Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

An irishman walks into a bar and stays there until he goes home.

How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just beat the night since its black

WHat did the Somalian girl get for Christmas? AIDS

Why did the Titanic sink, even though people said it was unsinkable? Grit and determination.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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