Roses are red, Violets are blue, my dick is hard, and it's cumming for you.

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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three mexicans walk into a bar... the bartender says get the fuck out!

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

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What's worse than a fake bomb? Do I really have to answer that?

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A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Gary.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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What do you call a dear with no eyes? A no-idear

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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People shouldnt make fun of holocaust jokes..my grandpa died cause of it! he fell off the gaurd tower

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between an orange and a banana? they're spelled differently

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did it take a long time to read the anti-joke? Because of the great amount of space between the question and the answer.

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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why did the chicken eat his brother? he was a canivore

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops