There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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how do you make kindergarteners unhappy? you taze them.

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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My Friend Philip had his lip removed today. he is just Phil now.

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knock! knock! who's there? the police, your family died in a car crash!

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How many black basketball players does it take to change a lightbulb? One. They're all rather tall therefore they can reach the light source with ease.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What is white and can fly? A fridge that can't fly.

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You grand mothers so old she going to die soon.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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what do you call a black man sleeping on a park bench at 2 in the morning? Homeless

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops