How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops