A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the fridge door and place the elephant inside. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the fridge door, remove the elephant, and place the giraffe inside. There is a party at the zoo. All of the zoo animals attend, except one. Which one? The giraffe, because he is in the fridge.

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A white horse walks into a bar and orders a bitter. The bartender says "Hey, do you know we've got a drink named after you?" The horse says; "Eeek! A talking cow."

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Knock knock Who's there It's a policeman informing you that your parents have been killed in a car crash. Your Dad, who has been struggling with substance abuse and depression, found out his wife had been cheating on him, and in a drunken rage, wrapped the car around a tree.

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Haunnaka in 1940's Germany. six thousand people die. in one minute.

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Why do black poeple like fryed chicken? Becuase it greases there insides just like there outsides.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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Haiku's aren't real poems. No body understands them. My soul is burned toast.

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100% of the people who go to school die. What about the people who don't go to school? They die too.

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What happened to your face It got hit by a bus By cheyenne

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Yo momma's so hot I raped her and slit her throat afterwards and hid her body in a ditch.

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How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Knock knock Who's there Guess who? Billy, is that you? Yeah baby I'm home! OMG!!!

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I'm rick james bitch

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What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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What do you call a black man playing a bass guitar? A bassist.

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Q: What would you think if a homeless person asked, "Spare change for drugs and cigarettes?" A: At least he was being honest.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? Because you touch yourself at night...

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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What did the child get from there parent on Christmas? Nothing. He's an orphan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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