What do you call a black man with a knife and red liquid on his hands? A chef who accidently spilled strawberry jam on himself.

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A knock knock B who's there A nobody

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I'm a blonde... rejected from Kaplan.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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life is like a rapist. sometimes they're nice other times, they ram you in the ass.

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A= Were both lawyers! What happens every sixty seconds in the us? A= a minute passes!

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

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what did one apple say to another apple nothing apples cant talk

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chuck norris threw a grande and killed 50 people then the grande blew up

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why did David Hasselhoff talk to his car? Because it was KIT from knight Rider and had voice recognition software and so could understand him

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When Harry met Sally, she slapped him twice without reason, walked away and kept on with her day.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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what did the little boy get for christmas? nothing his parents stuck him in a mental ward to forget about him because he was mentally challenged.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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