Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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When life throws you melons, You probably won't catch them.

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There are two kinds of people in the world: Those who can count and those who can't.

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Why did the two blonds go to the bar together? Because they were carpooling to save money and help save the earths ozone layer that seals in all of our oxygen. They were also meeting some friends.

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Q. What is the answer to life the universe and everything A. 42

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Whats pink and slippery? A pink slipper.

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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Q: What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: We are both lawyers.

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

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why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

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CFL

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Q. How much Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? A. None, they just steal one.

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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So a guy walked into the doctors and said, "It hurts when I poke my leg like this." The doctor said, "Well don't poke your leg like that."

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man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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roses are red hula is hula when i walk in cass i see a big tula

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a cop wrote most of these anti-jokes O.o

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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