What did God say to the man who just died? Nothing. God and Heaven something parents make up so kids will do the right thing.

I found my car in the lot with a broken tail-light and a note under the windscreen wipers. I accidentally reversed into your car, Lots of people saw me do it. They all think I'm writing down my name and details, Well, I'm not.

What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

whats the similarities between an xbox and michael jackson? there both made of plastic and they both get turned on by children

What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

whats worse than sitting next to jack grindey nothing

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

If it's mid-july and there are flying cows everywhere, how many bacons does it take to impregnate a spaghetti ? 3, because because vases can't swim in the dark.

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

why did the chicken cross the road? because he was stapled to the head of a penis that belonged to an asian man

Pick a number between 2 and 8. Now multiply that number by 9. Now add the 2 digits of that answer together. (example 18 is 1+8) Now subtract that answer number by 5. Now choose the letter below that corresponds to that answer. 1 = A 2 = B 3 = C 4 = D 5 = E 6 = F Now pick a country that starts with that letter. Now pick an animal where the first letter of the animals name is the last letter of the country's name. Now think of a color where the first letter of the colors name is the last letter of the animals name. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Are you thinking of an orange kangaroo from Denmark?

Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was deaf and blind, which both make it very unsafe for her to drive.

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

So theres a Black guy, White guy and Mexican guy all sitting at a bar. They were friends.

A knock knock B who's there A nobody

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...