What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

What's worst than finding two worms in your apple? Two holocausts.

Where di mary go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

Women's rights

Sigh, visit me with a pack of condoms, that is so romantic... Now you tell me something, how old are you REALLY and what is your real name? Oh yeah, my first name is Tifa (I know you hate it for some reason), and I am turning 24 in 30 days.

whats not funny and has access to a computer and reasonable internet? Me

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

What is worst than Justin Bieber new album? Being a jew during the holocaust or aids.

When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

Matrix if it had been with (as planned at some stage) with Will Smith. Normal Neo: Yes trinity lets find the others. Smith Neo: Yo pretty lady, lets go find them ho`s and chicken and stuff, then we can like go surfin and driving nuts and all that crackin stuff and then we etc etc. Normal Neo:... Smith Neo: You tellin ME this is your world Smith? Im Anderson yo and the one, Im gonna bitchmack you all and then just whoop you all with my master blaster no kidding buddy I have yellow belt Kung fu yo! Neo: We have to do something. Smith Neo; Yo unless we make a real rap video first we cant do the proper stuff you, why is this place all so green, get some colaaas! Seriously first we get carlton and then he dances his crazy dance while I go boyAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZ with my rap ok?

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory Because she repeatedly wrote Ws

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

what do you get when you cross a bulldog with a shitshu? a puppy.

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? A: "Get in the car."

What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

A Chinese man fails a math test

Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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