A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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why did sally drown? because she had no arms or legs and couldn't swim

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

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what's white and bumpy? Milk. But it's not bumpy.

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Your mother is so stupid because as a child, she was unable to keep up with what was being taught as she unfortunately had a learning disability.

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What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

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Why was 9/11 funny? It wasnt; amny people died.

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Chuck Norris doesn't just have a chin underneath his beard. He also has part of his neck underneath his beard.

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What do you get when you mix a bulldog with a shitzu? One delicious smoothie.

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Why was the woman so hot? she was on fire

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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A man saw a dinosaur yesterday. He had a very nice time at the museum.

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A hooded black man walks into a pharmacy, he caught a cold due to the gelid weather and bought some medicine for himself.

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Why do bears go to school on Sunday's? They don't, bears don't go to school.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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