Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

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A nun walks into a bar. She is immediately excommunicated.

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Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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Why aren't there Olympics in Mexico? Idk Because everyone that can run jump or swim are already across the boarder.

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What is sad and disappointing? Nevada's and California's snow pack.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

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I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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In Soviet Russia, this type of joke would be considered evidence to throw you into the gulag.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because, it realized that it was worth something in life, it had a meaning, a purpose, and a right to freedom, to go where it pleased. The chicken's first act of this freedom was to go across the street.

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Some potential names for Justin Beiber's next album: Headache Wailing and Screaming Eardrum Rapist Anger Half Price Indescribable Out of Print April Fools The Sounds of Hell Torture Ear Basher

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What's worse than getting no presents for Christmas? Ass-rape!

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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