what's white and long and hairy? -Dean when hes on his period

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Q:your jetski loses a wheel. how many pancakes does it take to fix your house? A:blue berry icecream.

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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What is worse than being eaten alive by a shark? Being force fed live goat intestines while Kevin Spacey rapes your father.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he is being treated in a mental institution and eats his own fecal matter.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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You trying to be funny kid? This is a matter of security to the national degree, point zero has been compromised, unless you bring out one of these soon, I am myself going to drag your ass into prison.

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One time I said to my friend, "There are too many black people in this country." I forgot he was black.

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What did the White guy say to the balck guy? "How are you?"

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Three men are on a plane (note this is a low altitude plane) they're are going on they're 2nd grizzly bear hunting trip in Alaska. they crash into a mountain and all die. except the pilot. he left the wreckage and died from the freezing temperatures of an Alaskan winter.

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Henry VIII: I need another wife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thomas Wolsey: All right then. How about my nan? Henry VII: I'm dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :~D

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead.

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What is dark in the darkness even if you shine a torchlight on it? A blackman

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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