Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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A man walks into a bar. Three hours later, ambulances arrived, because the man was knocked out. The man who saved was known as a hero, and was awarded a medal for his good deed.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I kicked her in face! Why didn't she get back up? Because she didn't have any friends!

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What do you call a white guy in a mostly black neighborhood? His name.

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What's worse than finding a work in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Q. What do you get when you put a Jew and Adolf Hitler in the same room? A. Trouble

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A rat and a pig rape a puppy. Hey, that's just life.

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What'd the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? New shoes and some gloves

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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The 80's called. They need their couch back.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing?

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What did the biker do when he heard about Kony 2012? He became a social activist and did his part by contributing to the cause.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why was little Jimmy sad? Because his mum died.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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What would it take to reunite the Beatles? Two more bullets.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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