Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey i just met you and this is crazy, but heres my gamertag so party up maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

the person who wrote 1 under me is gay

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

your moma is sao fat that she is gay . nope im sorry thats just mean.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops