How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

How many electricians does it take to screw on a light bulb? 1

What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

Naturally us at the order of exile, the ones that learn and teach the ways of Nero do not exist. Soon neither will those that speak against us. - Azure Dragon

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

Why is the chicken on the road? Cuz he died trying to get to the other side.

Why did the boy do his homework? For fun.

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

why did the man take the bus to work he didnt have a liscence

A horse walks into a bar. Just kidding, it's a panda.

anti-joke.ru - russian style

How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

Roses are green. Violets are purple. Charlie Sheen. Looks a turtle.

How do you piss off a redneck? You wait until he is done fucking his sister and then you steal his truck.

FIONN'S ECONOMICS GRADE

Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck oak? Well, If an oatmeal man could oat chuck oat, then a wood oat chucker could chuck oats.

If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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