Iceland is actually green and Greenland is actually icy and Germany started the Holocaust.

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knock knock who's there Bob oh hi, come in

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What happened to the girl that thought she was a mermaid? She drowned, humans can't breathe under water.

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sit in the dark for about 4 or 5 hours covered in Vaseline with a huge dildo inside of your arse

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ROMEO ROMEO WHEREFORE ART THOU ROMEO

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A bar walks into a man

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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Immigration Laws

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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Rain rain go away, and don't come back or else i will kill your family.

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Why is Suzie at the bottom of the cliff? Because I pushed her. Knock knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A Christian and an atheist are in a bar. Neither one knows the other's religion and they continue to drink.

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whats black, white, and red all over? your mum

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What's black and can't swim? A black shirt.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you get when a man farts then a giraffe digests the gas and then poops into the mouth of a rabid baby raccoon? A raisin coated in corn flakes with digestive fluid sauce.

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What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? An ambulance.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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Where did the people go after the bomb went off? EVERYWHERE!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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