-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall?? A: It depends on how hard you throw them!!

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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Why was the dentist sent to jail? Because he committed a crime.

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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