When did the ball-room finally close? Closing time.

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I started a pottery course where the two instructors looked like Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze. The only other student looked like Whooping Goldberg. This teacher to student ratio proved invaluable as I am hoping to make a living as an artist and really appreciated all the extra attention.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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Two guys walk into a bar.The barmen says "sorry we are closed." So the two men reply "There isn't a closed sign on the door and the door was open so we assumed it was OK to come in and have a drink". The barman says "Sorry we are closed at the moment but come back in 20 minutes and I can serve you". So the men leave and come back for a drink in 25 minutes time.

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Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

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A guy uses Google locations to find his friend Chuck Norris.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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a man decided to climb a tree. he got to the top,raised his arms above his head and said "I am on top of the world ". after that he fell because he was not holding on to anything

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being disturbed by two black guys raping a young girl with leukemia

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Know what im sayin'? No but im wearing pants

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Whats bigger than a tuba? the universe.

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What did the paper towel say to the tomato? Nothing.

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Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

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Whats fat and gay joe diragi

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What do you call a chicken with the head of a shark? A genetic anomaly.

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How many lesbians did Tiger Woods bang? None, his standards are much higher than that

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Q: Why do black people hate country music? A: Because every time they hear "hoe down" they think someone has shot their sister.

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How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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My girlfriend told me I couldn't satisfy her sexually. I told her she was beautiful and gave her flowers.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops