What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Three men stumble upon an ancient lamp in the desert. They sell it to a museum and split the profit evenly.

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What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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My father stole my mothers heart, he's in jail for murder

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

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Could not care less if he is jealous, too busy living it up, anyways thanks for notifying me, and guys, I know I could call up the office and tell you all that you wont get paid if you remain reading my comments, I might not be leading by example today, but I suggest you get back to work, as for the case whose name we do not reveal here, my part is done, yes I know, you can find it under cabinet C in my office, the thick file with the color pictures (the only one with color pictures) And that is why I am taking a break, now please get back to work, as I said I could just call down at every damn office room, but that would be unfair for those that are not on horsecrap network. Thanks people, keep the flag flying. Nero your overlord Fuck formalities, im not at work today.

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greetings ZOE. WHAAA BANNANNAS ROCK MAH WORLD. WHY DID THE TRAIN CRASH? ....BECAUSE THE CONDUCTOR WAS A PIECE OF CHEESE! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. WELL LOVE YA CHICAS. PEACE AND BLESSINZ. SALUTATIONS, isabel.

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What happened to the girl who got an abortion? She got an infection.

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A boy spelled the word "banana" wrong on a spelling test... Points were deducted.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops