i had a dream last night;) it was sad because you lived but then i dreamed up a bus and made it hit you. i had a dream last night;) you died

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What has two legs and bleeds between them? The back half of a dog with a deep cut in its belly.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What did Edward Cullen say to the hot girl? Since I am a vampire it is impossible for me to get an erection.

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I like trees. Trees hate you. Bye.

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What do you get if you cross a goat with a horse? Long letters of complaints by animal rights groups

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had escaped from a KFC slaughterhouse, and proceeded forward to avoid getting caught. However, the chicken did not consider the childhood lectures off his parents about crossing the road safely, and got ran over by a black Golf GTI, and died instantly.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? A bench can support a family

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What's in the sky? Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's a helicopter.

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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What's worse than slipping on a banana peel? Amanda Todd's suicide.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Q. When's The Best Time To Wear A Striped Sweater? A. All The Time.

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Why was little David sad? His father got hit by a truck.

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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How do you make a plumber cry? I'm sorry but our princess is in another castle.

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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why did matt die? He had cancer

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Q: Whats worse than Coke A: Diet Coke

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whats black and red all over? a chalk board

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops