What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

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q. why did the guy forget what he did at the paty last night? a. because he had short term memory loss

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Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What did the shit covered people licking each others scrotums call themselves? The Aristocrats

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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What's the relationship between a frog and a building? They have nothing to do with each other so stop trying to figure out this query.

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what do you call a black person who flies a plane? a pilot, you racist

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Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Huffing glue only becomes a problem when you get stuck on it

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Matthew Wyckoff

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Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

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What happened to the boy who stalked the pretty girl? His father raped him and he died in a house fire induced by his overwhelmingly sick love for the taliban

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Lets just say, that I can tell anyone that my brother is one of the top leaders for Interpol (here in the nation we reside in) and that while I do not have the required education to work for interpol, I have connections with them, which allows me to work, well... Yeah, Central.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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