Why was the boy sad? Because his pet bird couldn't fly. Why couldn't the bird fly? Because it was dead.

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why did the man shave his balls cause they were unnecessarily hairy

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

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Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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A my dog was a rappa. He recorded a hit. But it had no lyrics, because he is a dog.

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Your mother is so dumb, that she had a very poor ACT composite score.

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What's big fat and hairy? Peter

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What do you call a black teen on Maury Povich? A mother.

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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