what did the sock say to the shoe? Get your tongue off me.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What do you call a fish with no eye? A: Fssshh

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

thumb_up thumb_down -13

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What does a black person and ebola have in common? They both kill people

thumb_up thumb_down -15

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides not to racially profile them and continues on his own business.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

thumb_up thumb_down -15

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What does the ship say when it's cold? Shiver me timbers

thumb_up thumb_down -15

jews

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why do midgets wear condoms? To avoid unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops