why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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what do you call some one with no arms and no legs? names.

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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Q: Why was the old man sad? A: Because he has a quarter super glued to the bottom of his foot

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Whats long, green and falls out of trees? A canoe. Why did the old man fall out of the tree? He was in the canoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the tiger.

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Why did the man have no friends? He stabbed an innocent woman and is now rotting in prison.

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The easter bunny should be a platypus. Bunnies do not lay eggs. Platypuses do, however, and are the only mammals that lay eggs.

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There was a black guy and a blonde crossing the street. They are not related.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None. It is an avian species incapable of throwing such a heavy material as wood.

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Is Mike here? Mike Hunt? Has anyone seen Mike Hunt? Yes teacher, he is home sick with the flu.

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Male orgasm (haha bitches we've been faking it)

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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I'm Polish.

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What's the difference between my girlfriend and a dead baby? I don't make out with my girlfriend after sex.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Yo momma so old that she has started to look into an affordable life insurance plan to ensure all her final expenses are taken care of.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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