How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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why did bob eat the cookie? because he was hungry

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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Knock Knock Who's there? You have AIDS.

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Why did the car stop working. The owner was unable to pay the outrageous price for gasoline and was forced to ride a bicycle to and fromvwork every day. Over the course of several months without being run, the engine seized and was forever broken.

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How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

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Wanna hear a joke? It's here somewhere You looked :D There ain't jokes on Antijoke.com

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Roses are red, Facebook is blue, we have mutual friends, and violets are blue and roses are red. FRIDGE

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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