If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did Sally cross the road? Because a rapist was chasing her

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The First National Tree Bank just closed down. Don't worry it started a brand new branch.

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Two black men walk past a white man who recently hung himself from a tree. Oh the racist irony.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Knock Knock the door's open, come in

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What do you call a black person who flies a plane? A pilot.. You racist bastard.

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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Scenario: Two guys are out hunting. Two guys are walking and a one falls down. The other calls 911 and the guy still standing asks what to do. The person at the hospital told him to make sure his friend was dead, then heard a gunshot. The guy who called said "Now what do I do?"

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Because she had no arms!

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Dyslexia ruels!

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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"Why is Barney green and purple?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way."

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How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

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Where did grandpa go for his birthday The morgue.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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bite me

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Q: Why is it when geese fly in a V that one side is longer than the other? A: There are more geese on that side.

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A man sees the most beautiful woman he's ever seen on the street. He takes her into a dark alley and r.apes her.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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A drunk guy walks into a car

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YOU MEAN SHE ACTUALLY EVER LIKED ME? WOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! Anyway, tell her to contact me here, during the number of letters up there divided by a certain number you got over there, minus the letters here subtracted with the VEEEEEEERY same ammoooouuuuunt... Moral: God I need to invent a code system that makes me sound less like Jim Carrey on crack...

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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