Q: What did the serial rapist say to his best friend? A: You're a good friend

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How many people does it take to paint an elementary school red? 27.

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Three children had stumbled into an old cottage where they were met by a wizard. The wizard pointed out a slide in the corner of his cottage. He told the children that they could each go down the slide and that they could shout out a word while sliding. He told them that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "GOLD" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of solid gold. Due to its extreme hardness the child was killed immediately on impact.

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At the Asthma hotline. Caller: Aahhh aahhh *gasp* *gasp* I need you... Woman: *slams phone* DAMN I WISH THESE PERVERTS WOULD STOP CALLING!

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Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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Why did man lay down? His dog ate his genitals.

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Why do we have brown eggs? Because black people have sex with chickens

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why couldnt the baby walk through the door? because it had a javeline through its head.

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What do you call a mexican and a African? Two people with no water.

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Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

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How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? She didn't use enough sunscreen.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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