What's worst than finding a worm in your apple? A fat kid sitting on you

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

thumb_up thumb_down -11

On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a store. He purchases what he was intending to, walks out, and gets on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse replies "my whole family was killed in 911... And I used the money I got from life insurance to get plastic surgery to always have a smile on my face. My doctor botched the surgery, so now my face is elongated. Even for a horse, of course."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, violets are blue When I cut you, you bleed

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A black man walks into a store with a ski mask on... what does he do?? he buys skiis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he has a great career and a loving family.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops