Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Why are the asians on cabin services? Because they do not speak english well enough to converse with guests.

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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Why did the pelican cross the road? The man did not reply because his mother recently died in a car accident while crossing the road. She also loved pelicans.

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Q: Why do Mexicans love rice and beans? A: Because it's fairly easy to grow in places with relatively low rainful and high temperatures like that in which they live in.

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Scratch and Sniff [________] smells like glass doesn't it?

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Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? The battery on her phone is dead and she needs to recharge it. (Good thing there's no emergency.)

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What did the boy with cancer, no arms, and no legs get for his birthday? Nothing he was dead.

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What makes us laugh? Definitely not this joke!

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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What comes after 7? Pedophiles.

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Why did the potato cross the road? It didn't. A potato is a vegetable. It cannot walk, think or speak.

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yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

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What wuld u do for a klondike bar? Nothing taste like shit.

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why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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