A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Two penises walk into a minefield. Both are very careful with their every step and try not to be blown.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why didn't the boy want to go to school? Because it was 3am.

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How do you make a hormone? Modify bacteria using recombinant DNA technology.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Hello penis

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what happens when you try to believe it's not butter? 34 Indonesian kids lose their job.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Sunflowers are yellow, Daises are white.

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Mexican? I dont care if you are Mexican or not really, it makes no difference to me, I know you, I seen you before. But seriously, I consider you a good friend and all, and it seems we both get along, but you know after stuff happens, are we still friends then or is this all just a mating game thing for you? You can be honest with me, I am a realist, and I kinda like the idea of,the day after tomorrow, wont deny that. Its just that I dont want to lose a good friend in the process, and if this is just you trying to score, then well, I guess its still nice knowing this side of you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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