What do you get when you mix a refrigerator with a microwave? A refrigerated microwave.

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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I walk into Tesco and wrestle an obese women for a packet of ''Mini's Biscuits''. This quarrel was over nothing but a trolley filled with them. I gradually became infuriated. Meanwhile, an employee commited suicide.

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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What do you do to Jewish people? You Challah at them.

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A woman with big boobs walks into a bar and gets raped

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Why did the little girl drop her balloon? Because she was getting raped in the face.

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It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's actually a bird. You can see its wings flapping.

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what is funnier than a apple? a talking apple

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What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear stuck in her head.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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what did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware river? Get in the boat.

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What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

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Ice cream rules kids are great how thinks of this? Michael Jackson

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*The doctor walks in* Knock knock. Whos there? Doctor. Doctor Who?

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q- if a small quiz is a quizicle then whats a small test A- a testicle

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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