Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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An Englishman, a Scotsman and a Welshman are all in the Great Britain Olympic squad,

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us << Awesome! I've just received my giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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What did the dog say to the rabbit? I quite liked Prince's first album.

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Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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If an ugly person got raped. What would that be called? Nothing. It is never gonna happen. Kelvin Yang.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What do you call a guy who likes men? Gay

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why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

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Q. Why was the boy depressed? A. Because he lives in a world where apparently all girls are right.

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ok when a fat person say he on a diet i said your on a sea food diet what evert you see you eat now get back to school John f kennedy students

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Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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