Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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How did freedom die in Europe? It was shot in the chest with a rifle.

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One night, a man dreams that he is a bird that can fly into outer space. The next day the man finds out that his son is a homosexual.

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a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

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Knock knock! Who's there? Joe Barkley. Joe Barkley who? ...

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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Woah, I mean if I was not like super high right now, I would totally hate you for that, you are what we call a charming asshole Nero, you can do that kinda stuff and completely get away with it, I feel like I should be really ashamed... So like does it work on everybody reading this? That would be wack, so much fun to do that.

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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what do you call a million black people on the moon? a good start

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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There is a tree. its still there. your still reading this, i dont know why, ok im getting sick of writing something that isnt even funny

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Q: When is a door not a door? A: Before it has been asembled or after it has been taken down and no longer maintains the physical form of that which a door typically has.

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If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

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How many Babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends how hard you throw them

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's big, black, and impossible to swallow? A parking lot. Among many other things.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Knock Knock Who's there? My foot. My foot who? My foot in your ass.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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