In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What did one butthole say to the other butthole? I'm actually not sure. I wasn't there when he said it.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom , and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom. Ha, joke is on you because Americans don't pee.

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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a white man, an asian man, and a mexican man are on a plane and they realize how inefficient the airline was in filling the flight, seeing as there were only three men on board.

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knock knock whose there? you have AIDS

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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What do short Mexicans do after a hot shower? Dry off with a towel like everyone else,

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A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

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I like my women how I like my ice-cream Out cold.

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If you are reading this you are a nerd

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Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

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roses are red, violets are blue... thats what they tell me because im blind

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Why did Hitler kill himslef? He saw his gas bills.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Why did the boy fall? He got tackled by a man that was 400 pounds.

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how do u stop a cat from peeing on the floor? Kill it... haha

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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