Katy perry isn't on clould nine because it's physicaly impossible to stand on water persipitation.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

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What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

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Why did the black man have a gun in his hand? He was crossing through a dangerous neighborhood and was offering protection to himself and his family.

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What did the chipmunk say to the nut? I'm gonna eat you.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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why was six afraid of seven? it wasn't. numbers dont have feelings.

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Your mumma's so fat she is fat

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Cheese on toes

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Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

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Two men walked into a bar. Only one came out. What happened? One Passed out.

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What did the woman say to the dog? Stop shitting on my carpet your dickhole

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What does a dog in a microwave look like? You tell me, I normally close my eyes when I masturbate ?_?

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How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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You just made me realize something friend, and for that I am grateful, I quit and left the remains of what could have been put together again, I mean if the chance was there, I betrayed both you and myself by leaving a sinking ship. I keep telling myself that our dream has no chance of becoming real in a world where people lack what we consider vision, individuality. Now I realize that by losing faith in humanity accepting their individuality and becoming an author of fiction, I have indeed lost my own belief in a greater world, this of course being reflected upon the fact that I write fiction, rather than speeches and well, what I once considered wisdom. Its just that its lonely at the top, the wiser you become, the more alienated you become from the rest, and if others no longer grasp our concepts of wisdom, strength honor, love and such.. Then I suppose that we just end up lonely, as aliens in a world full of monkeys, until I have begun questioning myself if I am just an arrogant prick, and taken that for an answer. Then it does not matter if you have one follower or a million... ...The sensation of solitude, becomes overwhelming, I guess I have been looking around the world for a definition, rather than following my own heart. Listen, I wont pretend to be you, but I will gladly join you, but if you cannot accept us as equals, I decline. Hey on the brighter side, I always got a "man that likes men" vibe out of you, I suppose I got myself a fan huh? Someone trying to copycat me. Damn, I feel broken, or maybe I just realized how broken I have allowed myself to become, lets say you are not really a woman and where using this in order to break me. Then I gotta say you got me there, and I am not proud of that, I guess that you trying, where I gave up, makes you the better one regardless.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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What really killed the dinosaurs? ME!!!

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Q:What's the difference between a lake? A: a tree, because motorcycles dont have doors... :) crf

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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