Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

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A priest a rabbi and the dalai lama walk into a bar. They decided to order the hotwings...... Why do u care??? : )

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sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssLOLIAMINTHESIDEBAR:Dyouaregaylol

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? Hi!

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Hey i just met you and this is crazy but your adopted banana

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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A kid walks into the car and the dad says, "Wear your seatbelt".

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I'd love to submit an anti joke, but unfortunatley I don't own a computer.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Q: Whats different about pizza and jewish people? A: Pizzas don't scream in the oven.

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Ask me if I'm a human. Are you a human? Yes.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, and I'll be the nine.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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