Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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How do you make a Muslim mad? You burn the Quran.

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A man walks off a bus. How did he get on top of it in the first place?

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I like my women like bacon. Greasy and full of wrinkels

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How do you get rid of black elephants? Arrest it for being black.

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I don't believe in giraffes.

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What do call the time things don't go the way you plan them? Reality. bitch

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Why did the squirrel fall out of a tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of a tree? It was cruelly stapled to the first one.

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What is the best part about having sex with tweny-six year olds. There are twenty of them. ap~pac

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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If you watch a pregnancy backwards, it is about a baby that is inserted between the legs of a woman and is slowly broken down for energy and the remains are finally sucked up by a man's genitals. There isn't a joke.

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I was just thinking of how much i laughed at the challenger launch.

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why do jews like money? So they can support their family.

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Why are there only 50 states in the U.S.A The US gives territories a chance to vote if they want to be states in the US.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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