What happened when barba opened the coca cola? The cap flew off and hit the fence then the train then the moon then the pillow then the sun then the pole and the pole fell and hit the baseball and the cap landed on the floor... Then my turtle died

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? THE CHICKEN!

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

Two bars walk into a guy, and the bartender says, "You're telling the joke wrong, stupid!"

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

What's an example of something quiet? Helen Keller.

Michael Brown

How can you tell if your roomate is gay? If he gets an erection when you have anal sex with him.

What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

Knock knock Who's there? Cow Cow who? If you really think about it, it's really now

Knock Knock! Who is there? Me. Let me in. Oh, okay, Come in.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

I have a very serious problem with my narcolepsy. I occasionalolahdf;honainbirgnipqgierngiaqbhgpqruiph

Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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