A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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What did the strawberry say to the elephant? Nothing. Because it's a strawberry and strawberries can't talk.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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What is big, hard, and bushy? My Penis. I lied about it being bushy.

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Hey Eliza, thanks, while I appreciate the help, Alice is crying in a corner and refusing to get up, I wont lie, for a moment there I could "see voices and music" and valium has taken care of the ptsd (and blown most of my brain, which is nice for a change). With that said, im on 40 mg ritalin which is a lot, but I need it, besides I can handle the anxiety. I have no idea who the guy typing this is, but he is following me to the letter, so thats good enough, except his typos being worse than mine, which is pretty good for a guy that barely speaks english. Sorry Eliza, but Alice is having a breakdown here, ill talk her down a bit first, she tries to hide it, but she is far more worried about me than I am, which is nice, just not like this, ill be right back with you.

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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What did the Irishman say to the German? "Sorry, do you have the time?"

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how many dicks can you fit into mia khalifa's ass

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Why wasn't the black kid allowed in the school? Because it was the Southern United States in the 1930s and due to racial tensions at the time most public facilities were seperated by race.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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