A man gets a paternity test. It's better than beating his wife senseless due to his own insecurity.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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What junk did she have in her trunk? Mcdonalds because shes fat as hell.

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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What do you call a girl who has slept with five guys? Her name.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Denard Robinson

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I f*cked your mom last night and she liked it. 8====D~~~~

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Walt dies in breaking bad.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack has a crippling addiction to Cocaine which ultimately led to his divorce and the subsequent loss of custody of his children.

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What did John name his dog? Doggy

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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