Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Whats black and hangs from trees? To get to the other side.

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What do you call the man with no arms or legs, swimming in the bay? Bob.

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Why did billy have a frog stapled to his face? Because he was having a bad day.

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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tea with milk?

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

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Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

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Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

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What was Hellen Keller's dogs name? dhfgbvskjne How did Hellen Keller's dog die? Natural causes.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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Math Problem: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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