Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Why didn't Joey play with the other kids on the playground? Answer: He was dead

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a canoe at him.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? (knocker runs for life).

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the monkey

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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whats long hard and full of seamen? a submarine.

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What did Hitler say to the Nazis? I have a mustache.

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What did the man with candy say to the little boy? I have Candy.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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A husband and a wife were having a conversation: Woman: Why is the baby on fire? Man: I dont know. Woman: BUY ME SHOES!!!!!!

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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Who is big and stupid My brother

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i saw amango it splootered

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What do you call a person driving a plane? Not a pilot, they fly planes.

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what would happen if every overweight person in america jumped at the same time? they would all get a little exercise.

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What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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