What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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This one time at Concentration camp.... My friends all died cause they were chosem in the Selection

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? A pilot, you racist.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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a black man and a Mexican are in the back seat of the car. whos driving the car? their best friend

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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