so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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What happened to the alcoholic man that decided to never drink ever again? He died of thirst. Moral: Alcohol was the only available liquid in this twilight zone... Anti anti joke

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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A Jew buys something that is not on sale

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Did you hear about the man who played the lottery? He lost.

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Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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What happens when you fire a machine gun clip into a jew? You are convicted on first degree murder, and most likely sentenced to jail because you can't afford a good lawyer. Orange jumpsuits are uncomfortable.

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How many kleptomaniacs does t take to screw in a lightbulb? What lightbulb?

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Whats the worst thing about dying? Your not alive anymore.

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Knock Knock Who's there? After no response, the man chuckled as he realized the sound of his TV mimicked that of his door knocker.

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Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? The chicken. The chicken always comes first, that's why the egg never comes at all.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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