I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

3 black guys are in the back of a car. Who is driving? A taxi driver

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest has his papers but the rabbi is sent to a concentration camp.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

How to shrink China's population in a few minutes? Nuke them all, simple.

There are 3 Chinese guys migrating to the USA, Chu, Bu and Fu. . Chu added a 'ck' to? his name and became Chuck Bu did the same thing and became Buck. Fu got sent back to china

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

Why was the boy in a wheelchair raising money to buy a basketball uniform? Because wheelchair basketball is a popular sport

Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

whats sad about a bus full of blacks driving over a cliff? the driver was white

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

What did the black man do for his science project Which is better homemade or colonel sanders?

Fred: Hey man where were you last night. Steve: Why don't yo ask yo mama.

What do you call a black man with a brain injury? Mentally Disabled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...