If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

civil rights

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

Roses are red Violets are blue We decapitated some little children Now I'm in jail too.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Q: How do you wake up Lady Gaga? A: You murder her friends and family.

If Santa and a Blonde woman jump off a building who hits the ground 1st? They both do due to Galileo's discovery of two objects with different masses but similar densities hit the ground at the same time.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

what do you get when a white woman and black man have a child? either a girl or a boy

Knock Knock? Come in.

2 doctors are talking to each other? -Dead? -Dead.

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

what do i refer too White people = Business Yellow People = Smart Black People = Drug Smugglers, Terrorists, Rapists etc

What did the apple say to the grape? Nothing, fruit are incapable of speaking

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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