A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window... ...But I am the Goddamn locksmith!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the balck man sit at the back of the bus? Because all the other seats were taken.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Songs can be interpreted in many different ways you know: "Whenever, Wherever" - Prostitution "You raise me up" could be an advert for Viagra; And as for "love is in the air" - masturbating from a rooftop comes to mind. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Clause? Tiger Woods is a well-known golfer and Santa Clause is a mythical man who delivers presents to young children.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Whats the difference between a horse and glue? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was Joe afraid of Steve? Because Steve raped and killed all of Joe's three children two weeks ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet You have pancreatic cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, as speaking to himself is a sign of mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did susy fall off the swing? Cause she has no arms knock knock Who's there? not susy

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you get a one armed polock out of a tree? You assess the situation and get a ladder the proper size to reach him, making sure the ladder is stable.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did one wall say to the other? Nothing. Walls can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I like saying the colors of flowers, Delphiniums are also blue.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? An obsession with what motivates a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops