How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

I'm a burrito... With a big shirt.

why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

Why did the bus drop his icecream? He was hit by a boy

Q: Why did Timmy cry? A: You would too if you had your arm cut off

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

Who would win if Chuck Norris and God fought to the death? None they are both fictional.

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

Why did the man scream? He got shot in the eye with a nail gun.

Why did the blond cross the road? She needed to get to the shop as she'd run out of milk.

The man said to his wife love hurts. the wife then progressed with punching in the face.

A little girl meets a homeless guy named Ian McDermott in downtown Atlanta She then screams stranger danger and a nearby policeman comes and arrests the man.

whats the difference between a can and a fish?they can both swim. exept for the can.

Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

Why was the house on fire? A dog peed on it.

How did the Mexican get across the boarder? He applied for a student visa. He was a promising young scholar who had no trouble being accepted to a prestigious college.

What would Osama Bin Laden be doing if he were alive today? Drowning

What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

Knock Knock Who's there? Max. Max who? Max who starts his greeting with,  "In accordance with Megan's law"  

i saw amango it splootered

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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