Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

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hi

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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A muslim paints Mohammed

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Why was the Saudi Arabian terrorist flying a plane in America? He was going to visit some family on a ranch in Kansas.

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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why didn't the donkey go to the party? Because, unfortunately he did not have the required linguistic skills to communicate with the person inviting. This is obviously dependent on whether the person who invited him was a human, if it was another donkey then perhaps this would of happened. However, this is also very unlikely as donkeys do not have parties or really communicate

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Chickens are not smart enough to open a gate and avoid traffic at the same time!

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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What's white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? A refrigerator.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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What's red and every where? A bloody soldier who just stepped on mine.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops