How many blondes can you fit in a car? About 5 if you lift the arm rest.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

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How could Jamie not come out and play? His mum had cancer

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A black man walks out of a store. He was carrying a receipt.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Mr Mac reminds me that no matter how hard you try you will always lose your hair

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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Q: Why did the wihte man buy a burger? A: cuz he was hungry

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what's the difference between a zebra and a horse They are spelled differently

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What's orange and fluffy? Orange Fluff

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Tim and Jim are Telling Jokes Tim: Knock Knock ... Jim does not respond because Tim has a mental disorder causing him to believe in hypothetical doors and thus ignores him so that he does not upset his friend

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a man walks into the doctors office and says DOCTOR!, DOCTOR! IT HURTS TO BEND MY LEG!!! the doctor replies then dont bend your leg and the mans great pain eventually heals

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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there were three men in a car, Poop, Shut Up, and Manners. They were driving in a truck when poop fell out of the car. Manners went to get him. Shut Up parked somewhere that he wasn't supposed to so the police man came to him. He asked him what his name was and he said "Shut Up" because that was his name. The police man said "Where are your manners?" then Shut Up said,"He went to go scoop up poop".

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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I have a really funny joke.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Though if the ladder is rickety and she needs someone to steady it for her, two.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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