What is the biggest lie in the world How the **** should I know

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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What was John Lennon's last hit? The pavement.

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Did I invite you to my birthday party? No. Then why are you at my birthday party?

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Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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What is green, red, and goes 70 mph? A frog in a blender

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A man and a hobo meet on a narrow path. What does the hobo do? Finds the mans wife and impregnateds her, aborts the baby, takes dead fetus chops it up and makes the man eat it in a salad. While the man is chocking he shotes him and walks on.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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Huh? Whats wrong? Why are you mad at me for? Its my name, it has always been so.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why did the chicken have a sore neck? Because the farmer cut the chicken's head off, and the body ran around for three minutes until it finally bled to death.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did Hitler kill himself He saw his gas bill

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Q.What did the homeless kid get from santa? A. Play Doe. Because he was a good boy. Q.what did the Rich Kid get form santa? A Coal. Because he was a bod boy. The rich kid then got mad and threw the coal at the homeless kid hitting him on the head which killed him of enturnaly bleeding.

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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