What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How did the the the police know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head & shoulders in the glove compartment.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? there are twenty of them

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In America you read books, but in Soviet Russia, it's exactly the same as it is in America, because it's not possible for books to read humans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I once met with Mahatma Gandhi and he said to me "Child, why do I walk this earth?.. What is the meaning of my living?.. Why am I alive?" and I bowed in respect of his wisdom and said "I don't know. Why do you?" and he said "I don't I'm dead."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

thumb_up thumb_down -11

One a upon of time there was man named Cinderella. He was so mad because his name was Cinderella. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats black and red and dead? Nobody could tell, but they were sure that it wasn't a dead black person, so stop being racist!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is white, average height and cannot jump as high as a black man? A fridge.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a blue and black dot on the wall? A fly wearing blue jeans.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

how many black guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?................ we dont know because u cant c them

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops