Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning.

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Why was the fat man crying? He was sentenced to the electric chair for a murder he didn't commit.

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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How do you make an egg laugh? That is an irrational question eggs are inanimate object and are unable to laugh

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Once upon a time there was a man that was exercising and he pulled a muscle and had to have his arm removed. The end.

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Why doesn't Austin have sex? Because when his wife gets hot he puts dirt on her and hits her with a shovel

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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I just wrote three jokes on antijoke.com ... nope, make that four.

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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