What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Why was Osama Bin Laden so hard to find? His hiding place was difficult to come across.

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what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting mauled by a pack of hungry wolves

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

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What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Sploosh

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What do you call a chicken who eats chicken. Cannibal

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that awkward moment when there is no candy in the van.....

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Q:Why did the dwarf shout abuse at the bus driver? A: He had anger issues, and the price of the ticket was quite unreasonable.

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Two blondes walks into a tavern, which is kind of funny, since the second one should have seen it.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she was hit by a refrigerator.

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How do you find the population of Mexico? Send out a census

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why did the elephant cross the road? it was the chickens day off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops