Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why'd the guy fall off the building? I pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why the guy without two hands at the beach was so excited? Because he couldn't scratch his asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down +22

knock knock who's there? Ah Maj. Ah Maj who? (say it outloud)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did Justin Bieber jump out of the airplane? He didn't, i pushed him

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If the camel has seven toes and the armadillo has thirteen, why does your mom pleasure herself to a picture of George Clooney ?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

We could have had it all Rolling in the deep You have my heart inside of your hand As you've just now inexplicably ripped it out of my ribcage.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

"Did you fall from heaven?...Cause your face is really messed up."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What would happen if Chuck Norris was hit by an Astroid A: He would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Ok good, just checking. It would be a shame for your perishable foodstuffs to go bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What does "Fiat" stand for? "Fabbrica Italiana Automobili Torino."

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: What's the biggest lie ever? A: Saying you read the Terms of Service

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's white and can't climb trees? Yogurt

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

When life gives you lemons, Life isn't actually a person so saying that would be irrelevant

thumb_up thumb_down +18

I just had major Deja Vu... Cool, Brett. No one cares.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why does everybody hates Justin Bieber? Just leave that girl alone!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did god make women? Because women are equally important when it comes to the birth to maintain or species.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops