What did the farmer say to little susie? I have a gun. Get in the car and dont scream or i will kill you

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My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

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Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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Teacher- Pick the odd one out- Man, whale, bat, squirrel, frog Student- Whale. All others are found in Nebraska

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the elephant asks the man, " how do u breathe out of that thing?" the man proceeds to explain to the elephant how he breathes out of his nose.

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A ginger, a brunette and a blonde all go to the store. They are checking out and the ginger says to the blonde, "Why did you get that cereal instead of the one on sale?" And the blonde says "Because I have a membership card that gave me a discount on this cereal." The ginger gets out of line to return her cereal because she remembers she too has a membership card. And then the brunette pulls out a gun and shoots them all because she has depression and needs psychiatric help.

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What is one similarity between John Samos, and the dreadful clown? they have a red nose and are payed to be funny, aside from John Samos!

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar. A good time was had by all, until closing time.

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how do you confuse a blonde? tap her on both shoulders

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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What do a bicycle and a platypus have in common? They both have wheels, except the platypus doesn't.

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What do you call a guy with out any arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Why was the minority sad? Because the police beat him and then he was raped in jail.

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Did you know: it is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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Why didn't the black kid get anything for Christmas? His family was Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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