Lollies are sweet warheads are sour, open your legs and feel my power

1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

A baby seal walks into a club. It is eventually beaten to death and eaten.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

What happened to the boy with no family? He died in a tragic car accident along with his family

Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

Yo mama's so white that she has to use lots of sunscreen to prevent from getting sunburned.

You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

Have you ever watched that show on Lifetime about that woman?

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

Why'd the gay man get fired from the sperm bank? He was repeatedly late to work.

yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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