What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

Apple hates Blackberry.

Whats worse the losing your 3 kids, your lovely beautiful wife, and your trusty dog, all your belongings and in a house fire while you're at work? Nothing

What did George Washington say to his men before crossing the Delaware River? "Men, we're crossing the Delaware River."

Why did Susie drop her ice cream? Because she got hit by a bus. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

why did Dayrl win the wheelchair race? Because he had working legs.

Why did the black guy not like oreos? because he is a very health concious person and knowes that too much of a bad thing can make you fat.

I once shot an elephant in my pajamas. I suffer from a debilitating sleep disorder.

How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

There were two bagels sitting on a table in Denny's. One bagel turns to the other and says, "So how did that job interview go?" The other replies, "It went great, thanks".

What do you call a middle-eastern man flying a plane? A pilot

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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