What did the apple say to the other apple? Nothing, apples are fruits and cannot talk

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause he wanted to get squashed by the giant pancake.

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Old, Asian, Woman who drive

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There was a cat and a copy cat. the regular cat jumped off a cliff. How many cats are left? 2 Cats have 9 lives!!!

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Why did the bald man lose his hair no not cancer obviously AIDS.

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THE LOVE SHACK IS A LITTLE OLD PLACE WHERE WE CAN GET TOGETHER!

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Why does a gay guy come out of the closet? He can't see anything inside.

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What's the difference between an elevator and a Mexican? An elevator helps society

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What do you call a black guy that steals a car? A father desperate to save his dying son who doesn't have a car to drive to a hospital

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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What is red? A rock painted red

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Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

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roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

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Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

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what's funny about cancer. nothing it is a serious life threating disease with no cure.

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

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What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

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Q-Why did the man fall out of the behemoth A- he had no legs

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? three-thirty.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops