roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

thumb_up thumb_down +12

One time, I saw this guy on stilts and thought it would be hilarious if someone pushed him over. Then some guy pushed him over and broke his neck.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because it is humanly impossible to draw a perfect circle.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you know what would happen if Hitler was still alive today. Nothing he's not.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

knock knock Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man with no feet... ...then I made fun of him and laughed.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the aisian man get pulled over? Because he was going over the speed limit .

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops