- Why did the man with the big pocket get arrested in Utah? - Because adultery is illegal in Utah.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What's a pirate's favorite video game? Pirates lived in a time before such technology existed

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What did superman say when he flew into a building? Flying is inhumanly possible unless in an aircraft vehicle.

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What did the 11 year old boy get for christmas? A wet dream

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Why was the sock sad? Impossible. Socks dont have emotions.

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" After hearing this common expression, the horse looks up at the bartender. With this look, the bartender realizes that he has been speaking to I'll Have Another. Aware his faux pas, the bartender apologizes and pours him a free drink. The free drink does little for I'll Have Another's crushed dreams.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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What's worse than watching the Hunger Games? Playing the Hunger Games

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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You know what's real bullshit? That stuff that comes out of a bull's ass.

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What is up, the color blue and has a face? the sky. there is no face.

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Three men walk into a bar they suffer permanent brain damage, and completely lose their basic cognitive abilities. They will never be able to speak to one another again.

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why can't timmy tie his shoes? Because timmy's an earth-worm

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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What did the mental patient say to the apple? She didn't say anything because she was a catatonic schizophrenic.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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