Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

thumb_up thumb_down -33

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i punched my mother in the face once she cried

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red Violets are blue Faces like yours belong in the zoo But dont worrie ill be there Not in a cage But laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops