What's better then one dead baby in a tub? Many things a dead baby is a tragedy.

Q: What happens after you have sex with Michelle Obama? A: You wake up and kill yourself.

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

i found waldo.

How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

Q: what's red and covers an elementary school wall? A: a red crayon

What did the legless veteran get for christmas, The same grenade that blew up his legs.

What do you call Charlie Sheen when he's on drugs? Charlie Sheen.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

Twitter: @TotalJokes: "So it's been 11 years since the planes hit the world trade centre, time really does fly by."

roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

Q: What is the proper name for a female dog? A: Well there could be several names it could be a name on the collar in which case please look for the number so it can be returned to its owner. Another possibility is that it is a stray which you should either run for it could have a disease and you should just forget about the name then or take it in as your own and name it.

Q: What did the black kid get for Chirstmas? A: Your bike

I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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