Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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What do you call an elephant mixed with a rhino? A freak.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What do you call a black guy who works at McDonald's? A worker, you racist piece of shit!

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There was this girl who suffered for her whole life and then she died. It was very liberating.

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What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

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Whats worse than getting an eye gouged out? Getting both eyes gouged out?

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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The blonde, brunette and,the red headed girls were at a store. When the blonde says......... im tired let's leave.

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Stripper went to strip club to ask for work. - It was closed

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What's the difference between a clever trick and a computer programmer? A clever trick throws you for a loop, and a computer programmer throws you a for loop.

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John and Marry wanted an abortion. God just laughed And Jesus was born Merry Christmas everyone!

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Why didnt the boy finish the race? Becuase he stepped on a land mine.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you know what time it is? Because I don't wanna be late for class and if you told the time, it will surely help me because I'll be able to arrive early at my class not to mention it would greatly improve my punctuality efforts to help me pass the class this semester. Geez, I remember back in middle school there was a guy name Billy Jones and he used to always be late for class. His name was Billy but we called him Bill. Bill was his nickname but his real name was Billy. Anyways, he was always late for class because he would always make the best barbecue ribs in town.... (45 minutes later...) ....and I told Bill, "Man, if you were to just ask what time it was it would greatly help you in arriving to class early." And he was was like "I know but..."And then I cut him off and I said "But nothing. I don't care what kind of barbecue ribs you make, you just can't do that." So there I was, me and him, sitting down and .... (3 hours later...) ...it was awesome. Boy, I remember back in the early 90's when I was at elementary school, it was a stormy weather and we had to go to class. That's when I met Clarissa. She was a really nice girl and I remember there was a time when... (to be continued....)

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Q. What did the chicken do when it lost its egg? A. It went to go look for it. Q. Why was the chicken scared of the duck? A. Because it was chicken Q.Why can't chickens fly? A. Because they don't want to Q.Why can't chickens swim? A. Because they don't want to Q. Whey do chickens cluck? A. Because they want to Q. Why did the chicken jump on top of a car? A. Because it knows how Q. Why doesn't a chicken have hands? A. Because it's not human Q. What did the chicken dream about? A. Chicken dreams Q. Why was the chicken lost? A. Because it wasn't found Q. Why wasn't the chicken afriad of the dog? A. Because the chicken was blind Q. Why doesn't the chicken know how to drive a car A. Because they don't need to

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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