why didn't sue come to her son's baseball game? because he doesn't play baseball, he lost his arms in a horrible plane crash. besides, sue died in that accident anyway.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What's the difference between a pelican? 28, because elephants have 4 legs.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car. A. Get in the car.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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