How do rocket scientists exchange greetings? They say "hi"

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Faithful men.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

why are you going to laugh at this its reallly dumb

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? Lebron traveled

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

thumb_up thumb_down

Me John Kasich! Me win Ohio primary!

thumb_up thumb_down

How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A kid finds a bag of heroine. He is a good Samaritan and asks the nearest junkie if it belonged to him.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

ill take a bullet for you... on call of duty... nahhh that ruins my kd

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the catholic preist take all the little boys out in the woods? They were going on a camping trip.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What did the Jew get for Christmas? A: Nothing you dumbass, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Once upon a time there was a young teenager who was bullied a lot. She died 100 years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops