Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

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Why does the black man take drugs. Because he is very sick.

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Roses are red,violets are blue, i love the colour red and green but its a pitty because im not so keen.

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A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

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Q: How do you make a baby float. A: Put it in a blender and add ice cream.

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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what did little johnny get his grandfather for christmas?nothing his grandfather died on thanksgiving

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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why did the snow man die? Actually it is impossible because it was an inanimate object.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Two cows grazing by the road. One says hey what's all this about mad cows running around? I wonder what is it like? The other says I don't know I'm a helicopter.

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Why did the goat cross the road. To put his sacrifices into the pentagram.

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69

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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