Why did Bill correct Matt when he called him Jim? Because that wasn't his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats green and fuzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how do you kill a bird? tie it to a tree throw a wasp nest at it and run the tree over with a semi filled with manure

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did bethany fall off the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Bethany

thumb_up thumb_down +10

how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

thumb_up thumb_down +10

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A horse walks into a bar and the bar asks "Why the long face?". The horse replies " I am deeply troubled by the anthropomorphic aspects of my existence and the extent to which I am now protected by law."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. why did the girl fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jimmy Saville

thumb_up thumb_down +10

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what is black and green and rainy all over? the democratic republic of congo

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

In the movie Sherlock holms, why is Sherlock Holms gay?? --------------Because he is chasing "blackwood"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops