What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Fruit loops.

Your moms so dumb that she has cancer..... wait thats racist

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

Yo mama so fat, her Patronus is a cake.

What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "I have a gambling problem."

There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

You're so fake, Barbara Millicent Roberts is jealous of you.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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