What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happens if you're caught strangling a purple leprechaun? You are taken to a mental institution because you have schizophrenia

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Rebecca Black walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender doesnt serve her because she is 12.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what is the difference of a bag of dead babies and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You tell me. I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

whats the difference between a baby and an onion? no one cries when u chop up a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why does Eric Clapton use a Mac? Because he prefers Macs.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What looks like a rainbow but isn't seen in the sky? A drawing of a rainbow

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? statutory rape

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happened to that guy who fell? He died from car accident 3 days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whos a sick fuck? jake morris

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. At what point would a chicken consciously know it was crossing a road.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

whats something you really wanna call a black person it starts with an "N" and ends in an "R" A. Friend i was joking about the "N" and "R"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops