Violets are blue and/or violet Roses are red so's my blood, see?

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bite me

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why was darren too late for school today...? She got hit by the bus

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? He tried to cross the road.

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What's worse than eating a baby? Eating two babies filled with maggots.

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Why is Jesse so fat? A horse, Because a cow gives milk thus creating pee wee Herman to jack off at an astonishing speed

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin right before they got in the b\Batmobile? A: "Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

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What has a beard and bombed the World Trade Center? Osama Bin Ladin. No, but seriously he's a terrorist.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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Why did the black man vote for Obama in the presidential election? Every person over the age of 21 has an open opinion to vote for the person of their choice to run as president for a 4-year term.

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Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

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Q: Why didn't Little Jhonny go to school today? A: There was no school today.

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why did the cow cross the road because pigs were not flying i had to write it hurts

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What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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