Why did the chicken cross the road? Listen, it's a free country.

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

Two strawberries are sitting in a bathtub. One says to the other, "Can you pass the soap?" The other one says, "What do I look like, a typewriter?!"

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, most likely nobody

What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "come" on your face.

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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