What did the man say to his father? You are not my mom.....

Yellow People !!

I'm black and I will beat your children. (This is not an anti-joke)

What's the difference between a fat boy and a thin boy? Fizzy drinks!

One time there was a girl in a wheelchair and she couldn't walk.

My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first polar bear says, "Pass the soap." The second polar bear replies, "No soap, radio." OMG YOU DON'T GET IT?!?!?!?! NOOB

How many Stephen Hawkings does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He can't.

What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

Why did the short man fall down the stairs? He got shot in the face with an assault rifle.

Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

What's moist wet and I put my finger in it? My nose.

Why did the naked blonde crossed the road? Because she a man

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Q: What did the two muffins say in the oven? A: OMG we are in an oven, "OMG a talking muffin"

Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

Why am I constipated? I ate fiber glass insulation.

An Englishman, a Welshman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are all stranded on a desert island. After several days spent utilizing the survival skills they had been taught in the Royal Navy, they were eventually evacuated by fellow sailors searching for them. As the only survivors, their stories were vital in preventing such shipwrecks in future.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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