how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

What did chris say? Nothing, bushes cant talk!

All of these jokes suck; so I just made one that equally sucks!

What would happen if Obama got reelected? The economy would turn to shit.

Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

What's heavier: a kilogramme of steel or a kilogramme of feathers? A kilogramme of steel, because steel is heavier than feathers.

Q: What do you call a bathtub? A: A bathtub

Friend's are like pinguins, they both die when you stab them in the heart.

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

dallen loves penis

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

Denard Robinson

Boy: Why'd the chicken cross the road Mom: I don't know go ask the chicken

Roses are red My balls are blue Get off Unless You want too

Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

A black man walks into a store with a gun. It is a gun store and he needs to buy amunition after using all of his to fend of a home invader, and protect his family. He lives in a bad area because he never went to college and cannot get a well paying job in this economy, so he can't afford to buy a house in a better area He then used the gun to rob a bank. He no longer lives in a poor area

Why did the black man cross the road? he just wanted to cross the road, racist. ... after he had robbed a bank

AntiJoke will not let me type this so I will add some spaces. N I G G E R.

why did the boy fall off his bike? because his mum through a fridge at him

A blind man walks into a bar... He tragicly attracts aids and dies as the bar is shut down for health purposes

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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