Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. An impossible thing because he can't walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What would you do when pigs fly? Pigs cannot fly, therefore this question is impractical.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -26

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge asked "Mum, why is my name Fridge?" to which she replied "Because you deserve to be in one."

thumb_up thumb_down -26

A farmer and his son were walking to the well to fetch some water. The farmer stops, turns to his son and is mauled to death by a lion because they were in Africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the woman throw a stick of butter out her window? She was mentally unstable.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Yo mama soooooo dumb! You should really take her to a doctor, she might actually suffer from mental retardation, I'm just concerned about her.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

I am back with more jokes! -Lets go Mets It is best to dislike this one

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Your mumma's so ugly. Period.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the bear eat a group of children? It was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Once opon a time there was a black America He name was Bob

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a jewish womans boobs? JUBES!

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was playing tic-tac-toe with a friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's the opposite of Christopher Walkins? Christopher Reeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says why the long face? The horse says my mom died from cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

thumb_up thumb_down -28

An Irishman walked out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops