How many asian children does it take for Gary Glitter to get aroused? Just one.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

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What did the Insomniac, Dyslexic Priest do? He stayed up all night wondering if there really is a Dog.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Whats worse than your roof caving in on you? Being stabbed by yard gnomes.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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why did the chicken cross the road it didn't it got hit y a car

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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How do you kill a clown? You smash his face into a brick.

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I love you more than other things that are significantly less important to me than you are

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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whats funnier then a children's hospital..... it catching on fire.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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If Donald Trump was in Game Of Thrones, he'd probably be a part of The Wall.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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A guy at a baseball game....

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What do you call an blonde, brunette, and a redhead? There has yet to be a definition for a group of people categorized by hair color.

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what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

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Why did a man throw butter out the window ? So he could see butter fly and then realized that there was one on window cil

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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