What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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Why does Ray Charles always smile? Because he doesn't know he's black.

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When making an Anti-Joke, you click the button that says: 'I have read and agree to the terms of service' What are you called? A Liar.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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What's eighteen inches long, stiff, and makes women scream at night? A twelve inch long penis that is erect, thus adding approximately one half of its flaccid size, and involved in the act of fornication with the female partner of the man whose penis I am describing. (Of course, it is ignorant and juvenile to assume that the man in question is heterosexual. He may be a homosexual, which is perfectly acceptable in these liberal times we live in, or he may in fact be single and not inclined towards a sexual preference of any kind. This is understandable due to the myriad complications of long-term relationships, a result of the infinite differences between the masculine and feminine psyches.)

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What musical band do you get if you keep shouting while in the mountain? The rolling stones. What do you get if you keep shouting in a snow covered mountain top? Blizzard Entertainment.

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Why were our jokes deleted? Because it's anti-joke.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Josh Groban, John Mayer, Ben Folds and Nick Cave are at an underground club that specialises in lithuanian folk music and siberian vodka. end of story

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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why did the man fall off his bike? someone threw an oven at him

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Dont joke about the holocaust. My grandfather died there, he fell off the guard tower.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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How does Batman's mother call him to dinner? She doesn't, she's dead.

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The funniest thing happened the other day, it was like one went like this, and the other went like that, and then everyone laughed... ...Oh, its one of those where you would have had to be there to see how funny it was.

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One time there was a guy who jumped off a bridge and died

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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