Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

u know whats a crime? rape

why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

what's funny about war? nothing!

Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

What did John say to Tim Hi I'm John

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? He needed money to feed his family and to pay for his daughter's college education.

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

How many apes does it take to put in a light bulb 3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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