A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Why did the blind man laugh at the book. He didn't

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What's better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your mothers so stupid she is retaking her college courses so she can get a better job and support her family.

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A man takes a bite into a tuna casserole and burns his tounge. He is also a hermaphradite.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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What's the best example of an anti-joke? This one.

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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Have u seen Ray Charles' piano "no" neither did he

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Beans, beans, the magical fruit. The more you eat, the more you have consumed.

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what did the food critic say when he was handed a snickers? I'm allergic to peanut butter

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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