What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says nothing to the man running the stand. Realizing that the duck might potentially keep patrons from approaching the stand, he packs up and moves elsewhere.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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Bitch

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cory is gay

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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A fake pizza delivery guy goes to a party and tries to deliver DiGornios pizza in another companys pizza box. The party host calls the police and the guy gets charged for stealing another companys uniform and impersonating a pizza palace worker. He had to return the uniform.

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What's white and horny? A unicorn

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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Why does Greg steal? Because he is a thief He is also scouse!

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Fill in the blank: A ______ is a man's best friend. Jake: Is it dog? Host: YES! Now for the 1 million dollars! Finish the sentence: I just saved a lot of money by Jake: Switching to Geico? Host: Sorry, that's incorrect. The correct answer is "I just saved a lot of money by not spending it on useless junk and by budgeting my account towards investing in the future." Oh well, nice try.

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What is funny about a man who chews tobacco? Nothing, the man was diagnosed with mouth cancer at a young age and got his jaw removed, he was very upset.

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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a blind man walks down the street and trips on an unsuspecting curb he scraped his knee

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Burrinbar Smells like incest anal sex!

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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Why was segregation made Illegal? because its more fun to break the law

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Knock knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who? ......................................

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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