What do your friends have in common with a tree? They both fall down when you hit them multiple time with an axe

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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How did the chicken get to the other side? He crossed the road.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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One day there was 3 bears, a papa bear, a mama bear, and a baby bear. They were out swimming when suddenly a girl comes over to their house and tries to sit down. She sits on the big chair and says "too big", then she sits on the little chair and says "too small" and then sits on the medium chair and says "just right". Suddenly, the bears come back. Papa bear: "somebody has been sitting on my chair!" Baby bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair too!" Mama bear "somebody has been sitting on my chair, and she still here!" The girl says "Hi my name is Goldilocks." After about few minutes introducing each other, they ate dinner and they all had a great time.

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Nothing. Blackberries grow on bushes and I do not condone hate crimes.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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Q. Where do all funny jokes come from? A. The people who made them up

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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13 =B you just learned something

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

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Q: What did osama bin laden say to the worker behind the gas station counter? A: May I buy this bag of chips?

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what did the first fire hi-grin say to the second fire hi-grin nothing they can talk it what just really awkward.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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I like my women like I like my coffee. Hot, black, liquid, and in a cup.

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What is yellow, has wheels, and lies on its back? A school bus in a terrible accident.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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