Knock knock It's open, come in

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What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

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Why did the blonde leave the lamp on while sleeping? Because it helps to see in case you need to get up in the middle of the night. YOU THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO SAY "BECAUSE THEY'RE A LIGHT SLEEPER!" MUAHAHAHAHAHA

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

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how do u get the baby to stop choking? take ur dick out of its mouth!!!

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What did the man say to his wife while having sex? I don't know.

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

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What do you do when you find a black man rolling around on the ground? Stop laughing and reload.

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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What did hitler say to the jews? Die.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

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Knock Knock. There was no answer.

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Why did octopus cross the road? Because the road was underwater

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1. The name of your street 2. The name of your pet 3. Your favorite activity 4. The color of your eyes 5. The number of shoes you own Now fill in the blank with the corresponding number to your answers. "One day I was ___3___ my dog when a pornstar named __(1)__ ___(2)___ asked me how many times I can ___(3)____ myself. I said ___(5)___ times and the juice that came out of me was __(4)___."

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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My ex wife looks like a pitbull.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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