What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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justin Beiber is gay. what else is there to say...

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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My cat just died.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

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What time is it? It depends in your location and time zone

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there was this kid who was perfectly well-adjusted, had most normal things a person needs and a generally good life. what did he get for Christmas. non-hodgkins lymphoma.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is pretty messed up!

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what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? a nintendo wii.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

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What does shit smell like? Your maaaa

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I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

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Did the Jewish surgeon charge extra for circumcisions? Nope, he just kept the tips

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why did the kid fall off his bike he had a serious illness which made it difficult for him to play sports

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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