Did you know there was a black man in my family tree? He married my aunt.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Cliterus

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Fact: When you die, you can't eat ice cream!

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What did the magician say to the little boy after he "cut" his mother in half. She is dead now. Your dad is on Row 4, he is crying.

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Who moved faster? The snail or the blind man? The blind man until he ran into the road and got hit by a bus.

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Q: What do you get when you get a bunch of people who confuse dark humor for anti humor? A: This website.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Why did the leaf fall off the tree? Because it was Fall.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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How do you kill someone? Shoot them. How do you kill someone with a knife? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a car? Shoot them How do you kill someone in a jet? Put the gun in the propeller

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Why did the boy fail math? He got bad grades.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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What's green and brown, and if it fell out of a tree on you it would kill you? A billiard table?

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Patient: Doctor, do I have cancer? Doctor: Yes. Patient: Will I live? Doctor: No. Patient: So what do I do? Doctor: SUCK IT UP!!!

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Hey, you why you say poo poo nae nae watch me whip, and do the dougie, and then happy halloween? Potato Salad

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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what is the difference between two trees? it doesn't matter because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why couldn't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he has parkinsons and therefore couldn't keep his hand steady.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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