Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

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Hai Patrick Hai Patrick

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Why did the man die after getting his picture taken The camera was a gun

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Whats the biggest party fowl? Murder

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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What did the gym coach tell his student? Come on! You can do it! Push harder!

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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How many dyslexic people does it take to ruin Christmas? One, because they murdered you mother on your birthday.

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Q. What did the woman use for vaginal medication? A. Standard Strength Vagisil.

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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how much fish could a chicken

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How do you put 100 kids on a girls face ? skeet

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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What do I hate? people

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What's the difference between a piano and a fish? A piano is an instrument, fish is an animal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops