How does a doctor wake up in the morning He opens his eyes

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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Son: i like gaming Mom: you are wasting your life *son jumps in trash can

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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A blind man walked into a bar. Quite literally.

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Q. How many trees does it take to change a light bulb? A. Trees can't change light bulbs.

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Your momma's so fat she has a hard time finding clothes to fit

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Why did Steve Jobs die? Because he had cancer

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What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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Last year my wife ran away with my best friend. I really miss him.

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Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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Why was i sad when 4 black people in a cadillac fell over a cliff. The car blew up...

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Why did the plane to New York not land? It was redirected to Boston because of inclement weather.

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What is the difference between a black person and a pizza? Nothing, they both taste like chicken

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If you are swimming in a tree how many dogs does it take to crack a duck? The answer is 4 because nothing rhymes with orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops