Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why did the man eat his own shoe? Because it was a tissue box.

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Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

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A mexican fast food worker accidentally drops a cheeseburger on the ground. Realizing the floor is most likely unsanitary, he throws it out and gets the customer a new one.

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someone tell england that a depressed guy smoking a cigarette is not a movie.

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What looks like midnight and is addicted to shemale porn? Xavier Jordan! Courtesy of Mrs. Maxwells 7th period

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Why did the chicken cross the road To walk back

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whats white and sticky? a white stick

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What did the Blonde do when she saw train tracks? She walked over slowly, looked both ways, and crossed safely

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A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your tits.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesnt scream when you put it in the oven!

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Your momma's so fat, people make jokes about her.

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What's oily and smells like smegma? Kevin Crummy

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "The Police" "The Police Who" "Ma'am your son just died in a car accident"

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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What would George Washington do if he was able to talk to all of America? Ask them to dig him up.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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